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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27216469">a walk around the edges of your trepidation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/docklands/pseuds/docklands'>docklands</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(believe it or not), Established Relationship, Fluff, Gore, Halloween, Harry is cute and Louis is a dumbass, M/M, Murder Mystery, Nothing bad really happens, Photographer Harry, This is not your average Halloween fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:42:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27216469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/docklands/pseuds/docklands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis go pumpkin picking in Red Sun, one of the eeriest towns in England. Amidst beautiful photographs, breathtaking love and crisp autumn wind, events accelerate into a much darker perspective.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Larrie Writers GC Challenge 1: Autumn/Halloween/Horror</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a walk around the edges of your trepidation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheeriouslyed/gifts">sheeriouslyed</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! I have no idea what this is. It just came to me and I wrote it down. Thank you, Mari and Gabi, for rooting for me. I wouldn't have finished this piece without you. Happy Larryween! All my love.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry and Louis were on a gentle promenade, strolling around Red Sun Grange, one of the most famous spots for pumpkin picking in England. The property was enormous and the area was well visited by tourists, even more during that time of the year.</p>
<p>The town’s hotels would be filled to the brim, both by old couples looking for a calm vacation and by young degenerates that would bask in the gruesome rumours that plagued the barely paved streets. It was no surprise Red Sun’s income source would be lodging and sightseeing.</p>
<p>Louis had insisted that they could get a perfectly fine pumpkin at the supermarket, but Harry just argued he was no fun and made him start their pickup truck to drive all the way to the country. He had been chuffed throughout the trip, his restless fingers tapping along to the radio. To Louis, that alone was worth the effort.</p>
<p>As a photographer and an Aquarius, Harry would always seek opportunities to go someplace new. He had his camera around his neck and a pack of gummy bears in his pocket to ease the walk. The weather was colder than he’d like, but it was just the right amount of crisp to be pleasant.</p>
<p>“Y'know why they call it Red Sun, right?” Louis inquired, chewing on his blueberry gum and trying very hard not to die of boredom.</p>
<p>“Why, do you?” Harry shot back unamused.</p>
<p>“Hell, yeah, I do. Here's the thing.” He licked his lips and toned his voice down. “Back in ‘98, a serial killer stabbed the owner and his entire family. He dragged all five bodies to the river, one by one, tinting the soil.”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“So, by morning, the workers could only see infinite tracks of fresh blood along the fields, speckling under the sunlight.” Louis twinkled his fingers eerily. “Rumour has it the fucker has never been found,” he raised his eyebrows with a smirk.</p>
<p>Harry studied Louis’ expressions for a few seconds, deciding whether he would buy into his gibberish. He took a photo of the scenery, soaking in the hills far ahead, before replying.</p>
<p>“You're lying.”</p>
<p>“How so?”</p>
<p>“You’re making it up ‘cause you didn’t want to come.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t make that up, Harry.” He was taken aback. “It’s true.”</p>
<p>“It’s not. It's called Red Sun because that's what sunset looks like in the country. There's barely any pollution, so the colours are brighter.“ He smiled sincerely. “You'd know that if you hadn't failed Geography twice.”</p>
<p>“Hey! You know Mrs. Addington was plotting against me!”</p>
<p>“What I do know is that you used to spend too much time in my room trying to deviate me from books too.”</p>
<p>“It worked sometimes, though.” Louis pushed Harry's shoulder softly, reminiscing all the time they had been together.</p>
<p>He still remembered when he first saw Harry, by the bus stop. His curly hair was as big as a helmet and he looked as if he hadn't quite grown into his features yet. Full lips, an outlined nose and eyes as big as the moon. Wolfish eyes on a boyish face. He was oddly beautiful.</p>
<p>It should feel foreign that they were in their late twenties, but it didn’t. Times had changed and the hardships had taken different shapes, but their adoration for one another had, too, adapted. It felt intuitive, like a boat on its morning route.</p>
<p>“I know, my one C was because of you.” Harry's dimple came to life and a familiar goose bump ran from his nape to his spine.</p>
<p>He took a step back to photograph Louis, who smiled lopsidedly, with his shaggy hair dancing in the wind. Harry felt warmth stir beneath his breastbone.</p>
<p>“My muse.” He looked down at the screen and approved the photo, his boyfriend matching the scenery in a beige crewneck. Harry marked it as a favourite, pumpkins be damned.</p>
<p>Louis chuckled softly with embarrassment and took Harry’s hand in his, clasping them tightly together. His palm was clammy, even though the weather wasn’t warm enough for that. Maybe he had actually been spooked by the story. Louis decided to cut him some slack and not mention it.</p>
<p>Long minutes passed by and their legs were getting tired. Louis would eventually point out a pumpkin that he thought would do, but Harry would just shake him off, saying it wasn’t quite what he was looking for. ‘Not big enough, too flat, the orange is too faded.’</p>
<p>And so, before they even realised, the sun was setting behind them slowly, painting the sky with darker hues by the minute. Harry was right, sunlight beams were really redder than they were back in London, creating a net of pumping arteries above their heads.</p>
<p>“It's going to be pitch black soon. We should come back next week.” Harry muttered, paying close attention to the ground not to trip on his boot heels.</p>
<p>“Getting cold feet now, are you?” Louis inflated his bubblegum, popping it between his teeth.</p>
<p>Harry narrowed his eyes at his petulance. “You didn't even want to come, you arse.”</p>
<p>“All the pumpkins look the same, love, I told ya. Round, orange and absolutely the same.”</p>
<p>“They're organic,” he enunciated. “And they’re looking pretty formidable on camera.”</p>
<p>Louis smiled big, not surprised his boyfriend was being serious about it. He took his hand to his lips and left a peck on the back. “You're very cute.”</p>
<p>Harry rolled his eyes, trying to change the topic. “Help me pick a good one, then! Don’t just stand there. One that fits mum's big candle.”</p>
<p>“I have a better idea.”</p>
<p>Harry raised both of his eyebrows, unimpressed at Louis trying to ditch the pumpkin picking task at all costs.</p>
<p>“Remember when we played hide and seek at school camp?”</p>
<p>Harry nodded, still lost. It had been a long time ago, but he could almost smell the fresh wood of the cabins alongside sunscreen and stale meat loaf.</p>
<p>“We should play it here. In October, picking pumpkins, by twilight. Thematic,” Louis winked.</p>
<p>“And why would I want to do that?”</p>
<p>“Why wouldn't you? I knew you were chickening out,” Louis scoffed theatrically.</p>
<p>Harry took his threadbare bandana from his belt and used it to push his curls back, absolutely annoyed. “You don't wanna go there.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I'm already there.”</p>
<p>He sighed loudly, “I'm not scared! I would play if we didn't have to get home, alright? You’re the one who’s going to drive all night long anyway, so. Just drop it.”</p>
<p>Louis grinned. He stared at Harry with intention.</p>
<p>“What?” Harry asked, unamused.</p>
<p>“Coward.”</p>
<p>“Eat my shorts!” Harry actually giggled, basking in the sunlight of attention he found himself in whenever Louis teased him. It was like stretching a rubber band. Thrilling, fun and just the right amount of dangerous.</p>
<p>“See, I was actually thinking of sucking you off behind that oak tree, but now I'm reconsidering.”</p>
<p>“God, stop,” Harry whispered in a scandalous tone, biting his bottom lip to hold his laughter.</p>
<p>“You usually say the opposite, you know. Got all of your ideas upside down today, love.”</p>
<p>Harry stopped walking to hide his face in both of his hands, reddening up quickly. “You’re not my favourite person right now.”</p>
<p>Louis laughed, holding his boyfriend's wrists away from his face to kiss him slowly. It were moments like these that made them feel like they were still in their teens, too gone for one another to cope.</p>
<p>Harry's lips were cracked from the windy gusts and his tongue tasted like the hot cocoa they had before leaving. Louis carded his fingers through his curls carefully, deepening the kiss, and Harry hummed in appreciation.</p>
<p>“Not quite the place nor the time to get me in the mood, no.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is that so?” Louis asked nonchalantly as he squeezed Harry's hip, sucking a deep mark on his collarbone.</p>
<p>“Lou,” he struggled to protest, breathing through his mouth while he checked whether someone was around.</p>
<p>Louis untied the bandana from his curls and put it over his eyes, gently tying a new knot at the back of his head. He whispered in his ear in a sugary voice. “Tell me to stop if you don't want it.”</p>
<p>“I do.” Harry noticed he had been blindfolded and smiled, searching for Louis' waist with his hands to bring him impossibly closer. “You know I do.”</p>
<p>Louis’ eyes shone with mischief and he gently pushed Harry’s shoulders until he had his back on the tree.</p>
<p>“No.” Louis seemed to change his approach. “Tell me you want me,” he whispered with emphasis.</p>
<p>Harry whined in his throat. “Want you so bad.”</p>
<p>Louis stepped back slowly not to make any noise. “Well. You're gonna have to find me, then.“</p>
<p>Harry frowned in confusion, listening to dry leaves cracking under Louis’ shoes as he ran away like a lightning bolt. When he peaked from under the bandana, Louis was already far away, his nervous feet sliding across the grass like rollerblades on ice.</p>
<p>“Louis!” Harry screamed as loud as he could, desperation building up in the pit of his stomach. “Come on, Louis!”</p>
<p>He didn’t stop running. Instead, his body vanished into the green, blending in with the foliage like a fresh painting.</p>
<p>“I can't believe this tosser,” Harry cursed to the wind. Looking up, the sky was clouded heavily like black treacle, painted with some spots of midnight blue. If he weren't peeved and a little frightened, he would find it breathtaking and even take a photo to his portfolio.</p>
<p>Accepting his defeat, he squinted ahead to try and make sense of the paths. Beyond the pumpkin field, the farm went on for miles on end, tall trees blending into each other. He knew there was a cornfield nearby, too. And that was all his tired eyes could make of Red Sun in the dark.</p>
<p>“You’re a piece of work, Louis Tomlinson,” he grumbled to nobody in particular, trying to adjust the hardness in his trousers to concentrate on his quest.</p>
<p>Before he could come up with a plan, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.</p>
<p>[Louis] What do you make me buy when we go to the movies?</p>
<p>Harry's breath hitched in his throat. A treasure hunt? He figured Louis had to be talking about popcorn. It’s what they had eaten last week at the ‘Strait-Jacket’ screening – salt, butter and lemon pepper. Deciding not to lose more time, he headed for the cornfield, in hopes to find Louis still close.</p>
<p>“If you want to play, let's fucking play,” Harry smiled and decided to enjoy himself.</p>
<p>He turned his phone's flashlight on, but the dusk was already swallowing the scenery. He could see the cornfield from a distance, the swells of the cobs highlighted by the precarious glow of the lamp posts. Red Sun was a spooky postcard in its entirety.</p>
<p>Gladly, he remembered he had a pack of gummy bears in his pocket. He cut it open with his teeth and started to build a trail from the oak tree so he wouldn't get lost. He very well knew how that had ended up for Hansel and Gretel, though. The birds had eaten all of their bread crumbs mercilessly. Harry could only hope animals wouldn't like agar-agar.</p>
<p>Getting closer to where the cornfield started, he realised there were many ways in. One in particular was a hole in a metal fence that someone had probably forgotten to fix. A little shiver went through his spine at the thought that it could be recent. Louis was a teaser, for sure, but he wasn't an outlaw.</p>
<p>[Harry] Fence?</p>
<p>His fingers were a bit shaky from anticipation and excitement. It had been a while since him and Louis had done something so stupid and reckless just for the sake of doing it.</p>
<p>He decided to go in through a less suspicious path while Louis didn't reply. The cobs grew high and imperative, towering over what ever animals could be on the soil. It felt moist and claustrophobic, walking between them, and Harry's heart was hammering against his rib cage with every step he took.</p>
<p>Strolling around, he didn't know exactly what to look for. Would there be a clue? Did Louis even have time to come up with clues? How long was the hunt? So many questions and not a single answer. His only weapons were his cellphone with a faulty battery, his gummy bears and a headless clue about going to the movies.</p>
<p>He faltered in his step, too rigid to even tremble. Ahead of him, a silhouette stood. He could only hear his own breathing, quickened and erratic. The shadow was shaped differently from the cobs and stood solidly.</p>
<p>Harry squinted, careful not to disturb whatever that could be. Pointing the flashlight at it, the foggy colours formed a checkered shirt, black and red with a few tears in the fabric. On top, a straw hat. Undoubtedly, he was looking at a person.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” Harry shouted and immediately regretted it, clasping his hand over his mouth. He closed his eyes in the irrational attempt that it would make him invisible.</p>
<p>The seconds went by and he didn't get an answer, only the intoxicating whistle of the wind. The figure didn't even turn to him. It was still facing ahead, where the property went on forever, like an endless tunnel.</p>
<p>A crisp wind current accelerated from behind them, probably coming from afar by the strength of it, and carried the mystery person's straw hat away, tossing it elsewhere.</p>
<p>Harry decided to go closer, considering every possibility in his mind. A late working farmer, the owner, a lost tourist or, well, a serial killer waiting for a skinny legged boy who would be too clumsy to get away. Of course his washed up brain didn't compute the real thing.</p>
<p>A scarecrow.</p>
<p>“Bloody hell.” He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His eyes squinted again and he saw a note on one of the wooden arms, glued with a bubblegum. Louis' blueberry bubblegum.</p>
<p>'Darling! Not salt. Pure sugar!'</p>
<p>Harry laughed, noticing the note was a receipt from their yesterday dinner and that his handwriting was awfully rushed.</p>
<p>‘Not salt.’ Not popcorn, then. What could it be made of sugar that Harry enjoyed buying at the movies? He didn’t like chocolate and he usually had some water along with the popcorn, never soda or milkshake.</p>
<p>He slapped his forehead, sighing in realisation. Cotton candy, of course. The tutti frutti one that cost 5 very outrageous pounds, but that Louis never faltered to buy whenever he saw Harry’s eyes shining at the glorious pinkness.</p>
<p>Harry ripped the note around the gum and folded it carefully, putting it in his pocket. He propped up his Canon and snapped a photo of his fellow scarecrow, planning to make a scrapbook of their trip.</p>
<p>He knew the cotton field wasn’t far, but he was really surprised Louis had predicted his mistake and taken the time to remediate it.</p>
<p>[Louis] Straw hat on sticks. Fix your compass.</p>
<p>Harry chuckled at the text, glad he had already found the note. His phone was running out of battery and that made him tremble a bit, hurrying to type in a reply.</p>
<p>[Harry] Got it. Low battery!!! Don’t go far.</p>
<p>On the other side of the property, Louis swooned, feeling a bit cocky about knowing Harry would have gone the wrong way. He was in the next location after the cotton field and the air around him felt chilly, the wind cutting through his face like a knife.</p>
<p>“Can’t have that, can we?” He mumbled as he left something over a wooden sign for Harry to find.</p>
<p>His mouth craved another gum, an annoying habit he had picked up since he had decided to quit smoking for good – for the fourth time. He had started to chew on straws to keep his mouth occupied, but Harry said it was bad for the environment or something else he couldn’t remember.</p>
<p>The limits of Red Sun weren’t far and he knew he would have to leave the property to carry on with his game if he really wanted it to be entertaining. Fortunately, the next day would be a Saturday and they could just laze around, not worried about sleeping in.</p>
<p>Harry, on the other hand, continued to track his steps with the gummy bears, a bit worried they would run out before he could find Louis. Louis had a better sense of direction, yes, but very few people were intuitive like Harry was. His romantic heart was secretly hoping he would find Louis just from wishful thinking.</p>
<p>With such thoughts in mind, he left the cornfield, following the wooden signs south, where the barn and the cotton field were. A narrow filet of a river was chaperoning him, side by side, flowing timidly. The river from the story, Harry figured. In the depth of silence, the water hitting the rocks sounded like rusty wind chimes.</p>
<p>His stomach grumbled. It had been a while since they’d had lunch. He frowned remembering he had eaten all the leftover lasagna that was in the fridge. He would definitely make Louis cook him something as payback for making him starve in the middle of nowhere.</p>
<p>The boots on Harry's feet were a bit damp from the river water, but he could already see the barn. Some lights were still on, probably, from the souvenir shop and the cheese fermentation floor. He knew Louis wouldn't be waiting for him all cozy by the fireplace, eating mozzarella sticks. It'd be too easy. Too out of character.</p>
<p>So, even though the smell of freshly brewed coffee was luring him in, he headed towards the opposite direction, to the cotton field itself, carefully distributing his gummy bears along the path.</p>
<p>“The things I'd do for a cup of freshly brewed coffee right now…” His words hung in the air as he stopped mid sentence, realising he had gone through that part of the river not long ago.</p>
<p>He looked down, recognising the distinctive zig zag where the water changed it course. Was he walking in circles? He pondered about sending Louis a text saying he was lost and that he needed more help. However, his pride had already been bruised by going the wrong way. His boyfriend didn't need to know.</p>
<p>Again, he photographed the scenery. The river moved so swiftly it looked still in the picture. He tried again, but it was like its waters were frozen. In fact, through his lenses, it looked like there was no water at all. Just some kind of mole hole that went on forever, completely hollow.</p>
<p>Harry shook it off and dipped his pointer finger in his tongue, raising it up to determine the wind’s direction. It was hard to identify the origin of the currents, as they came and went too quickly, blending with one another.</p>
<p>Begrudgingly, he decided to try the other way, finally seeing the low cotton bushes in the distance. It was all white and so, so calm. The serendipity of it all made him want to have a picnic, write a bad country song or get married in the summer. All those feelings, somehow, came back to Louis. His first love, out there plotting against him.</p>
<p>He smiled, thinking of the namesake song by the Beach Boys.</p>
<p>‘Don’t care if them old cotton bolls get rotten, when I got you, baby, who needs cotton?’</p>
<p>Singing along as he explored the field, he already knew he ought to look for a new clue. He had no idea how Louis had managed to improvise a treasure hunt but, then again, he really could do anything. It was one of the many great things of knowing Louis – endless surprises. And Harry swooned every time.</p>
<p>He started noticing how the cotton bolls had sharp edges and he found himself fighting his brain not to reach out and touch them. The seed pod was held by a wispy thread of sturdy fibers and, well, how could something so innately pure be so hurtful?</p>
<p>His Canon clicked again, nonetheless, its flash exploding with light in the darkness.</p>
<p>Some crops were already blooming, but the flowers were still white. It was a shame none were pink yet. The monochromatic aspect of it all would have to do for his portfolio – blinding white amidst swallowing black.</p>
<p>“It should do.” He took a few more shots, throwing a couple more gummy bears around.</p>
<p>The patch wasn’t as big as the pumpkin one – it probably wasn’t for commercial purposes. The exclusivity of it all gave Harry a sense of luck, of being the only one privileged enough to really take the time to realise how peculiar and inherently beautiful those plants were. Walking around, he could complain only about the cold that was taking a hold of his hurting bones.</p>
<p>Like clockwork, a blob caught his eye. It looked uncannily like Louis’ beige crewneck. Actually, he was positive it was his crewneck.</p>
<p>He went closer, flashlight and candy in hand, making out the shapes in the dark. The crewneck was carefully folded over a wooden sign. Harry was profoundly grateful. One, for finding relief from the insistent chills and two, for getting confirmation he was on the right track.</p>
<p>Eagerly, he put it on, rubbing his own arms clumsily as he tried not to drop anything. It smelled like cigarettes and Louis’ body soap. He took his time to close his eyes and inhale the scent for a few seconds, like he needed to recharge his battery.</p>
<p>The trance was broken when his phone flashed again, the ping nearly making his soul leave his body.</p>
<p>[Louis] Need a wee?</p>
<p>Harry scanned the area. He had no idea where the toilets were and, to be quite frank, it wasn’t a particular spot he was eager to visit in such an eerie location. He pathetically went through the sayings on the sign, looking for directions, trying to work out what they meant.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Yellow as it makes its presence known. Genuine, spectral and pioneer. Orange as it spreads across the land. Regal, abiding and true. At last, red, like it has swallowed everything it touched. Inflamed, warlike and nuclear. Ergo, it rests its rays, so it has the strength to be reborn until the end of time.’</em>
</p>
<p>He felt his stomach flip. The carved words were so incisive and the imagery was so concrete, he felt obliged to snap a photo to keep them with him forever, like he would need to consult them one day – like they had the answers to the world’s biggest enigmas.</p>
<p>Looking back at the capture, he realised the flash had caught something he hadn’t seen with his bare eyes. Way behind, near the hills, he noticed a line of blue chemical toilets.</p>
<p>“Great,” he scoffed. “A proper place to hide a body. Or flush its parts.”</p>
<p>His antsy fingers reached down the gummy bears packet only to find its bottom. He tapped around it, but it was already empty. He would have to rely solely on his memory from this point on.</p>
<p>With the shaking of his fingers a bit more under control now he had the sweater on, he typed in a reply to Louis, saying he was on his way. His phone’s battery was at 2%. For good measure, he put it on airplane mode.</p>
<p>He pocketed it, jogging to the toilets as fast as possible. His heart rate was rising by the second, hummingbird-like. What if he had to call the police on Louis because he couldn’t find him?</p>
<p>The toilets reeked like they would at a music festival. Harry was too afraid to open the stalls, that was the thing. The blindingly foggy bushes nearby weren’t being of help either. It seemed like the further he went, the less logical were the paths.</p>
<p>He took his time to examine his surroundings, spotting the hills. Covered by a dark grass sheet, they appeared to be much closer than they did two hours ago, when he was still at the pumpkin patch. His Canon clicked again, bleaching out the dark.</p>
<p>He checked the screen to approve of the photo, like he always did. Pressing the button frantically, he zoomed in on the hills, skeptical of his own eyes. Right in the centre, where two peaks almost touched each other, there was a black speck. Its edges were tinted with microscopic layers of silver and, even on a still capture, it looked like it was sucking everything in.</p>
<p>Harry furrowed his brows, cleaning the lens with the sleeve of Louis’ sweater. He fogged it with his breath, making an effort to get rid of whatever dirt could be obstructing his view.</p>
<p>He kneeled on a nearby slope to take another picture, quite upset such a beautiful one had been ruined. Taking the time to change some settings, he focused upwards, along the horizon line. Click.</p>
<p>The small screen rendered the photo slowly, like it was too heavy. The smudge was closer this time. Bigger, too. Wider and twirly at the edges.</p>
<p>Harry put his camera down and squinted at the hills peaks, too hesitant to move towards them. The scenery was foggy, but he had good eyesight and it was clear as day that there was nothing there. Nothing but miles of horizon in deep green.</p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>Fidgeting, he reached for his phone to text Louis. He got his password wrong twice, but made it to the home screen. Before he could turn his data back on, it shut down. Which meant his flashlight was gone too.</p>
<p><em>At least I still have my camera</em>, he thought to himself, trying to convince his mind not to give in to an imminent breakdown.</p>
<p>His thoughts were interrupted by a rustle in the bushes by the toilets, ahead from where the grass was heavy and hidden by fog.</p>
<p>The very same black figure on his camera dragged him to the ground with full force, in a sucker punch. He fell halfway down the slope, holding his entire weight up with one hand.</p>
<p>“LOUIS! This isn’t fucking funny!” His voice echoed through the dark, calling back at him as a reminder of his aloneness.</p>
<p>His hand was almost giving in, shaking with fright and dread. The knot in his stomach had made its way to his throat and he felt like he was going to puke.</p>
<p>“You win!” His lungs managed to find a spark of voice. “I’m scared shitless, I don’t want to play anymore!” He dragged himself up inch by inch, crawling in the mud. He could feel the harsh weeds poking through his trousers and the tears prickling his eyes – and the fear. The utter dismay that it could not be Louis out there.</p>
<p>When he managed to get back to where he was, he realised his camera was missing. He couldn’t tell whether it had rolled down the slope or if it had been pushed away with his body.</p>
<p>He winced in pain, noticing a deep cut in his forearm. He couldn’t see the blood, but he could feel it. It was warm and haunting and, like his fear, taking hold of his body by the second. He tied his bandana around the wound, trying his best to improvise a tourniquet.</p>
<p>“Lou!” He sobbed loudly, struggling to wipe away the wetness from his face so he could see where he was going. “Louis, please!”</p>
<p>The earth was darker than it was before and the air was thick to the point of not being able to see from a palm away. His phone was dead, his camera was gone and the packet of gummy bears was empty. And Louis was still missing.</p>
<p>All that panic growing in his chest felt like a cancerous mass. Inflamed, warlike and nuclear. It was flooding him, gates wide open, with darkness and hopelessness.</p>
<p>“Please…” He sobbed in his throat, shivering despite Louis’ sweater. “I know I said I would always find you, but I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>His haphazard steps led him to the river. It didn’t add up, considering it should be way behind him. But, yes, there it was, the same zig zag from before. This time, however, the water was flowing slower, like the course had been interrupted. Somehow, the holed fence from the cornfield was also there.</p>
<p>About to scream Louis’ name again, the noise was punched back into his vocal cords with a thud by what he saw.</p>
<p>Spread open and limp, Louis’ legs were peeking from behind the bushes. His shoelaces were untied, like he had tripped over them.</p>
<p>“No… God, please, no.”</p>
<p>With his heart in his stomach, Harry ran as fast as he could to him, not once thinking about his own safety. It didn’t matter what was behind those bushes, it wasn’t relevant whether he was safe or not. It was Louis down there.</p>
<p>Louis was laying down on the soil. A swift cut adorned his throat, oozing a pool of the reddest blood he had ever seen. The wound formed a zig zag, tearing his soft skin in jagged triangles.</p>
<p>Harry took both of his hands to his mouth, his eyes growing ten times in size. He reached out to uncover Louis’ faces from behind the bushes, feeling the thorns penetrating his fingertips.</p>
<p>A carved Halloween pumpkin stood on his neck, covering his face with a twisted grin. It was like he had no identity – no crinkled eyes, no lopsided smile. He had become just another Halloween casualty. A statistic.</p>
<p>The river was washing away his blood, carefully, like it was made to do so. <em>At last, red, like it has swallowed everything it touched. </em>The water was really dark where he laid but, just ahead, its currents bleached it to the point of being imperceptible.</p>
<p>And so, Harry realised. Red Sun wasn’t a grange. It was a parasitic organism.</p>
<p>Before he could properly react, he got hit in the head and blacked out.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“Harry, wake up.” Louis poked his limp body a few times. “It’s Friday.”</p>
<p>Harry’s tired eyes blinked stubbornly, flinching at the sunlight that washed the room. His head hurt like he had nosedived a kloof.</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“We’re going to Red Sun, did you forget?” Louis asked, hair already damp from the shower and jeans on.</p>
<p>“I thought we—”</p>
<p>“Well, if you changed your mind,” Louis sat down in bed with a thud, playing innocent “I certainly won’t complain.”</p>
<p>Harry felt the smell of cigarettes on Louis and wrinkled his nose, a bit anxious he had already smoked one so early.</p>
<p>“Had a cig? Why?”</p>
<p>“I know…” He shrunk his shoulders, looking away. “I couldn’t find my gum and I was going a bit crazy. It’s the first in three weeks, though.”</p>
<p>Harry reached for his boyfriend’s face with both hands, like he was certifying he was still breathing and trying to comfort him at the same time. His tranquility and relief were tainted with self doubts and an imminent lack of self control.</p>
<p>“Don’t you remember where you left them?”</p>
<p>“Not even. It was some funky, weird flavour…”</p>
<p>“Blueberry.”</p>
<p>Louis’ eyes widened in surprise and Harry pinched his face, really certifying himself that this was reality.</p>
<p>“Missed me that much, baby?” Louis shot him a smug smile.</p>
<p>“A little, yeah.” Harry whispered and then kissed his lips, morning breath and all, just because he was there and he was his. He held Louis’ neck against the headboard softly, trying to feel his arterial pulse as discreetly as possible. He strummed his fingers across his collarbones, looking for a scar, with no luck.</p>
<p>He pulled away. “Do you think we could not go today?”</p>
<p>“Really?” Louis’ expression switched to blunt confusion and worry. “You were so excited, what happened?”</p>
<p>“I’m just tired,” he faked a yawn and adjusted his pillow, motioning to go back to sleep. “Want to be with you.”</p>
<p>“Fucking sap. Fair enough.” Louis chuckled as he got back under the sheets. He cuddled Harry impossibly closer, smelling his hair as he warmed him up. “I definitely don’t want to go grocery shopping after an invitation to spend the day in bed with you. We’re even out of lasagna, though.”</p>
<p>Harry laughed inaudibly, minimally more relaxed, and they kissed again, so slowly and reassuringly. Their lips moved against each other, barely making any noise, even in the dead silence. Harry’s heart was hammering away, half out of love and half because of turmoil. It was hard to fathom he could have made it all up.</p>
<p>Louis touched his waist, bumping into his forearm.</p>
<p>“Ouch!”</p>
<p>He pulled his hands back immediately, sheer panic in his expression. “Did I hurt you?”</p>
<p>“I think I slept funny.” Harry grimaced and rubbed his wrist, noticing his stiff tendons. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>“I’m the one who’s sorry.” He cooed, genuinely worried.</p>
<p>“Let’s just...lay for a bit?”</p>
<p>Louis nodded and moved Harry’s fringe out of his eyes. “Do pass me those gummy bears, though. Could use something to kill the nicotine in my tongue.” He raised his brows to the nightstand.</p>
<p>Harry detached himself from Louis’ hold, reaching out for the packet of candy.</p>
<p>The weight in his hand was foreign. It was too light. He looked at it and, not only it had been torn open, it was empty.</p>
<p>“Damn, baby, did you sleep walk again?” Louis took the packet in his own hands, examining it. “Could have saved me the purple ones,” he joked.</p>
<p>Harry sat up in a flash, sweat drops starting to form on his forehead. He could picture bears of every colour across the soils of Red Sun – he had thrown them around, one by one until the package was empty, of course he remembered.</p>
<p>“Hey, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Ignoring Louis, he frantically got out of bed to look for his phone. It wasn’t on the nightstand charging as it should be and neither under the pillows like it used to happen when he fell asleep on it.</p>
<p>Kneeling, he found it under their bed. Dead battery.</p>
<p>“Darling?” Louis insisted, trying to figure out what was going through his head.</p>
<p>“Um. I’m not sure. I reckon my nightmares are vivid again.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” he frowned. “You can wake me up, you know that, right?” He scrambled to the floor and hugged Harry, rubbing soothing circles on his back.</p>
<p>“I just need some rest.”</p>
<p>“We’ll do that. I’m sure you’d take some really nice photos in the country, though.”</p>
<p>Photos.</p>
<p>“Lou.” Harry gulped, standing up shakily. ”Where’s my Canon?”</p>
<p>“Closet, maybe? You put it away when we got home from Vermont.”</p>
<p>He ran to the back of the bedroom, slamming the closet door open.</p>
<p>Louis walked slowly towards him, confusion stamped on his face. He was hurting from seeing Harry hurting and, most of all, from not knowing what to do to ease it.</p>
<p>Harry grabbed the camera from the upper shelf, turning it on quickly. The menu was set on their Vermont’s photos. He skimmed through them in a hurry. The bike path at their bed and breakfast, paintings from the Shelburne Museum, green tea cupcakes and corny selfies. No sign of zig zags, black smudges or haunted hills.</p>
<p>Louis was hovering over his shoulder, trying his best to understand what he was looking for without being an extra nuisance.</p>
<p>When Harry’s lungs were about to release the breath he was holding, he got to the last photo. It had yesterday’s date on it, taken at 11:47PM. Louis’ head was covered by the carved pumpkin, his blood leaking from his throat like a burst balloon. Except Harry hadn’t taken this photo. His body was, too, in the frame, standing over his boyfriend’s rotting one.</p>
<p>“Lou,” he nudged him, “what do you see here?” His voice was shaky to the point that syllables weren’t coming out properly.</p>
<p>“Oh,” he smiled. ”Us when we were at school camp. I didn’t even know you had this. Did you back it up from somewhere?” He squeezed Harry’s shoulders, nuzzling his head in his neck.</p>
<p>“What?” The echo in his head was the only word that made it to his tongue. He went pale.</p>
<p>“Yeah, when we played hide and seek. Don’t you remember?”</p>
<p>Harry nodded stupidly, like a reflex. He just wouldn’t bear to tell Louis what he was seeing, how his body was limp like a rag doll, lifeless and forgotten in a thorny bush.</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>And, so, without another exchange of words, Louis got Harry back to bed. He tended his sprinted forearm and cooked him some alphabet soup. The gears of routine were slowly being lubricated again, spinning with ease.</p>
<p>Later that autumn, Harry sold his camera and got himself an old 35mm. He also promised himself he would never pop a gummy bear into his mouth ever again. Eventually, Louis quit smoking – and his funky flavoured gums. Two years later, when Louis suggested they should play hide and seek at their new apartment, Harry just told him he had work to do.</p>
<p>Memories aren’t temporal like movie frames and they definitely don’t remain the same. With time, they deteriorate and acquire new colours and shapes. Trauma itself isn’t forever. It eventually turns into an inconvenient tumbleweed in the Red Sun of our minds. Even though it may hurt to stumble across it, we just have to learn to let the wind drive it away. And, so, peace restores itself again. Regal, abiding and true.</p>
<p>—</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can reblog the fic's post <a href="https://hershelsue.tumblr.com/post/633083606401744896/a-walk-around-the-edges-of-your-trepidation-by">here</a> and talk to me <a href="https://hershelsue.tumblr.com/ask">here</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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